It’s Time We Look at Some Not-Very-Yoga-Like Behavior Happening Among Many Yoga Teachers

Less backstabbing. More sisterhood.

As a longtime yoga teacher and student, I have witnessed countless instances of “girl-against-girl” crimes.” This is how I refer to female yoga teachers intentionally undermining one another, usually as they try to land important standing within the yoga community.

These girl-against-girl offenses are rarely an outward attack. Rather, they tend to take the form of a judgmental look, an under-the-breath comment, incessant gossip, questions that are intended to humiliate, even outright sabotage. And, if I am being honest, I can also see where I have done this myself.

I once had a yoga teacher who taught the class before mine and she would crank the heat and never finish on time. Not only is this a disservice to her students for not ending on time, but the room would smell and the floor would be wet with sweat. If the scheduled 15 minutes between classes had been respected, this would have been a non-issue as I could have aired out the room and dried the floors. I once asked if she could please finish earlier. Her response was to laugh it off and fail to change her behavior in consequent weeks—a response that’s the very definition of passive-aggressiveness.

It took me a long time to identify what exactly about this offended me and why. Ultimately, I understood that the subtle, non-confrontational, dismissive manner in which she handled my request made the situation feel as unclean as the floor she had left behind.

And yet, I have also inflicted similar behavior on others. I have excitedly shared a story about a female friend that was taken out of context and sounded exactly like what it was, which is gossip. I was caught up in a moment of sharing some great news, and quickly realized that it was not my news to share. I had a major talk with myself first and then with my friend. I told her that I was truly sorry, that I knew better, and that I would also do better. I needed to clarify that my intention was to celebrate and never to harm.

I’d like to think that we can learn the subtle difference between making excuses for ourselves or maturing into wise women. Each time we recognize this girl-against-girl behavior in ourselves, we have the opportunity to tamp it down—and to evolve.

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